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They felt that the point I was trying to make was not universal, and so they felt I was engaging in transphobia, even though the people in. This was the case with many male members of feminism who thought I was just using my privilege to make a point that should be shared with their peers. It is the most important thing you can do for yourself. No need to take the next step. In my experience, being a black trans woman in a country ruled by white men has meant very little.

I have had to endure homophobic slurs that were as commonplace here as the word poo-poo. No need to go deeper. In South Africa, there were no laws that recognized trans individuals as a marginalized population, so when I attempted to access healthcare, Id face hostility and harassment on top of the general discrimination and violence that black gay people in the post-apartheid era faced. And at the same time, my white cis feminist friends cant understand why I have a problem.

I have had to be the one to defend myself, and not just by saying that its wrong to tell an activist from any oppressed group to put down a camera and go home, as many men that Ive met here do. This goes for my trans friends, men and women alike. Its not that theyve never encountered transphobia or transphobic language.

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I am meeting someone for the first time and I want to make a good impression. What would be good discussion topics? Steer away from matters relating to sex as that subject is still considered taboo. You would be ill advised to discuss homosexuality, as that is considered the worst form of sexual depravity. Humour is fine, provided it is not seen as poking fun at indigenous Malawians, as there is still an underlying feeling that westerners think lowly of Africans. Perhaps more than anything else, showing genuine warmth toward the person will make a positive impression.

Malawians smile from the heart and not just the face! In the meantime, talk about families is always appropriate, but be prepared because it is not uncommon for someone to say that a close relative has recently passed away. A simple “sorry, sorry” will do, but it is also OK to ask if it was a sudden accident or an illness. Asking people what part of Malawi they are from, or where their home is, is also OK.

Everyone seems to have a pretty good sense of humour and they seem to appreciate efforts to your efforts to adapt to a new place. In the case of member of the opposite sex, it may be advisable to make it at least one and half arms length. It is considered bad form for men to stand too close to women. This is more so with the less educated.

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